I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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