my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
