Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
