White coat. Heels.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize