Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
