You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
