Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
