SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize