Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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