Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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