Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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