Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
