What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
