i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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