we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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