yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
