Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize