i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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