remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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