I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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