went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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