My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
