I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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