first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
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He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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