I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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