we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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