Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize