Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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