But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
