New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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