So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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