god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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