I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize