i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
