Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
