she smelled like a LAN party
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
