North Korea, Best Korea!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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