At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
