I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
