bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize