I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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