I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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