I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
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I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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