I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
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