Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
