help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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