I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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