someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
