I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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