Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
