my sisters under your porch take her home
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
