I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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