The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
