Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
