I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
3 2 1 whiskey
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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