The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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