He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
