I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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