So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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