The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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