I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
